Raising Resilience Daily

I grew up in sports. My childhood was a rotation of practices, games, tournaments, and team dinners. And with every season came a new coach; each one with their own style, their own expectations, and their own way of shaping a group of kids who were still figuring out who they were.

Some coaches were phenomenal. They taught me discipline, teamwork, and how to push through the hard moments. Others… well, they taught me what not to do. I had coaches who took “win at all costs” too far. Coaches who didn’t always see the human behind the athlete.

And then there was the coach whose evolution taught me something I didn’t fully understand until adulthood.

She didn’t change me; but I watched her change. She was tough, rigid, and not always compassionate. Then a teammate of mine passed away from cancer, and everything about her coaching shifted. She softened. She listened more. She saw us differently. And witnessing that taught me something powerful: people can grow when life demands it. Coaching styles can evolve. Leadership can evolve. And that ability to adapt is something I carry with me now as a parent and coach myself.

Now I’m watching my own kids navigate their relationships with coaches. I see how they respond to direction, correction, encouragement, and discipline. I see how their teammates interact with adults; and sometimes, those interactions make me pause.

Because here’s the truth:

It doesn’t matter who the parent is; coach, helper, volunteer, or just someone standing on the sideline. When I see a child yell at a coach, ignore instructions, or show blatant disrespect, it makes me question the influences around them. It makes me think about whether I want my kids spending extra time in environments where that behavior is normalized or brushed off.

Growing up, one thing was drilled into me: respect the authority, even if you don’t agree. And I still believe in that… to a point. A game or practice is not the time to show disrespect. But I also want my kids to feel empowered. If something feels wrong, if they’re being mistreated, if something isn’t sitting right, I want them to know they can come to me, to my husband, or even directly to their coach. Respect and voice can coexist. They should coexist.

But here’s where character really shows itself:

It’s in the moments when a coach is ignored.

When a kid yells back.

When directions are dismissed.

When there’s no consequence, or no learning moment, afterward.

That’s when you see who’s being raised to take accountability and who’s being raised to avoid it. That’s when you see which kids understand that being coachable is a life skill, not just a sports skill. That’s when you see which adults are willing to step in and which ones shrug it off.

Sports shaped me because they taught me that leadership isn’t static. Coaching isn’t static. Character isn’t static. We are all capable of evolving, sometimes because we choose to, and sometimes because life forces us to.

And now, as a mom, I’m learning that raising resilient kids isn’t just about teaching them to work hard or bounce back. It’s about teaching them how to treat people. How to communicate. How to advocate for themselves respectfully. How to recognize when someone is modeling the kind of character they want to emulate; and when someone isn’t.

Sports gave me that lens.

Coaching refined it.

Parenting sharpened it.

And every season, every practice, every sideline moment continues to teach me something new about who my kids are becoming, and who I want to be for them.

Raising leaders, chasing goals, and occasionally losing my mind.